Cats in Sweaters?

My cats would shoot me!

    Pictures of Cats in Sweaters

Twelve Easy Steps to Traumatize your Turtle

1. Decide that it’s time to clean the turtle's tank.
2. Remove the turtle from the tank, placing it temporarily in its old, plastic habitat from when you first got it.  Then realize that the old tank is way too small and, also, full of dust.
3. Give the turtle a “shower” in the sink to remove the dust bunnies and then place it in a large plastic bowl.
4. Set the bowl on the table while you go clean the tank.
5. Shoo the kitten away from the fun new play thing he found on the table (a.k.a. “turtle in a bowl”).
6. Repeat step 5 about ten more times, or as often as necessary.
7. Finish cleaning and setting up the tank.
8. While allowing the new water to acclimate to room temperature again, go to the store to pick up a few things.
9. Wait!  Don’t forget to put the “turtle in a bowl” up on top of the refrigerator, so that the kitten doesn't kill it while you’re gone!
10. Return home 20 minutes later to find an empty bowl on top of the refrigerator.
11. After a frantic search, find the turtle upside-down, underneath the refrigerator.
12. Apologize profusely to the turtle and place back into his newly cleaned tank.

People Food

Isn’t it strange how dogs assume that they want anything you are eating?  Like they forgot about the 500 times they’ve spit something out that you gave them.  Most of the time when that happens, you knew they wouldn’t like before you gave it to them, but you did it anyway, just to see…

Nash is notorious for this.  I’m against giving dogs “people food” in general.  Nash knows that we don’t feed him from the table, so fortunatly he doesn’t sit there and beg.  He just hovers around, under the table, waiting for something to hit the floor.  I think of it as a free cleaning service.

Nash does the same thing while I’m preparing food in the kitchen.  I’m kinda messy about cooking, so his patience really pays off for him there.  Plus, I do sometimes give in and toss him something (don’t tell my husband, I don’t want him to think I’m a hypocrite).  I’m sure anyone with dogs knows what it’s like working in the kitchen, only to trip over your hopeful pet every time you try to take a step.

But Nash won’t simply scarf up the dropped food the moment it hits the floor.  No, no.  He must take it off to “his spot” to eat it.  “His spot” happens to be just outside of the kitchen entrance, in the middle of the carpet.  That means anything Nash gets a hold of gets taken out of the easily-cleaned, linoleum-floored kitchen and gets set upon my light-colored carpet.  No matter what I do, this area of carpet will remain stained and grungy looking forever more. 

Also, this is where I discover what I'm making for dinner that is not to Nash’s liking.  Any food item that hits the floor gets transported to "his spot" outside the kitchen.  That is where Nash must ultimately decide if he likes it enough to eat it.  If it is not appetizing enough, there it stays until someone says, “Why are there cucumber peels all over the carpet in the living room?”

What I don’t understand is why Nash doesn't realize he doesn’t want to eat it before he goes through all the trouble to pick it up and walk it out of the kitchen?  Better yet, why does everything need to be eaten at this exact spot?  He will even grab one mouthful of dog food at a time and take it to “his spot” before he actually consumes it.  If "his spot" wasn’t in the middle of the entry way from the living room to the kitchen, I’d consider moving his mat and food bowls there. 

I don’t have this trouble with my cats.  They don’t care for people food at all.  Okay, that’s a lie.  Chili thinks she should get raw chicken when I'm cutting it up and Spike tries to lick your ice cream and fudge pops.  But that’s it.